Carer Stress

My Grandma passed away at the impressive age of 94.

She got a terminal diagnosis and passed away just over 3 weeks later.

Me and my lovely Grandma

I live in Sheffield but my Grandma lived up in Scotland. I had always told her that I would be there whenever she needed me and I did not want to let her down at the end of her life so I decided to go up there and care for her in her last few weeks.  

Over my career, I have had countless conversations with informal/unpaided carers and family members and feel like I have a good understand of the stress and pressure a caring role can have however caring for my Grandma was my first actual experience of being an informal carer for a loved one and it gave me a little taste of how life can look for carers.

I was only in a caring role for 3 weeks. I can imagine so many carers out there thinking… “3 weeks, is that it?! Try 3 months, or 3 years or 13 years or 30 years” and you are so right!

But the whole time I was caring for my Grandma, I was thinking about all those unpaid carers who have been doing it for years and years and honestly I have the utmost respect for you because even just for 3 weeks it was tough! The mixed feelings that you experience, from worry and stress and not being able to find enough hours in the day, to anxiety because you also know you are not really looking after yourself properly, to guilt you are not doing enough or are not making the right decisions, to feeling honoured and relieved that you at least get this time together. It’s tough!

A 2023 survey by Carer’s UK found 79% of all unpaid carers feel stressed or anxious, 49% feel depressed and 50% feel lonely.

People I have spoken to report feeling guilty about being stressed. They also report that stress can have an impact on their relationship with their loved ones, which just adds to feelings of depression and loneliness.

So what are some tips for carers in Sheffield who are experiencing stress?

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

This is always easier said than done, I know, but getting help is the best thing that you can do for both you and your loved one. This help might be off other family members, neighbours or other community support available.

 Be aware of your health and wellbeing

Your loved one needs you to be as well as possible. It’s the whole analogy that you hear when you are on a plane… put your own oxygen mask on first before helping other people to put theirs. You are no help if you yourself become unwell or your health starts to deteriorate so make sure you look after yourself. Continue to do regular physical activity, continue engaging in hobbies and seeing friends and family on a regular basis.  

Check out the Carers Centre

The provide all sorts of practical advice and resources you can access. They also have support groups for carers where you can meet people in similar situations to yours and allows you to step away from your caring role for a short while.

Have a look at local support groups your loved one can access

This will give you a little bit of time in the week to either do things you need/want to do, or simply have a rest.

Consider a Care Alarm through Sheffield City Council

This is an alarm that an individual can wear and press in an emergency (if someone has a fall for example). This alarm can give carers some reassurance that their loved one can call for help if needed and may allow you to leave your loved ones alone for periods of time.

Consider an Occupational Therapy Assessment

From this assessment you can get individualised advice and guidance on how to best support your loved one, how to make your loved one more independent and safe in their home or to get advice on how to make your caring role easier for you.

My Enablement Service aims to support carers through providing a regular, friendly visiting service to individuals. This can give carers some regular time away from their caring role, with the reassurance that there loved one is being well supported.

For further information on how either of the services available through Quality Life Enablement (Occupational Therapy or Enablement Support) can help to ease the stress you are experiencing, then contact me for a FREE telephone consultation or give me a call on 07424555188.